“IS IT ABOUT THE FOOD OR THE PEOPLE?”
MY FAVORITE STRATEGY FOR NAVIGATING MEALS OUT
Eating out, attending an event, or showing up to a holiday gathering can stir up a lot of thoughts, especially when you are being cognizant of your nutrition or working toward specific goals and want to enjoy yourself (pssst…these can and should coexist).
There can be moments where old thought patterns can creep in:
Should I be “good?”
Should I just enjoy myself and start over tomorrow?
Will this meal undo all my hard work?
There’s a lot of gray area between the absolutes of the thoughts above, and the single question I ask myself and my clients to lead me to the right shade of gray is:
“IS THIS MEAL ABOUT THE FOOD OR ABOUT THE PEOPLE?”
WHEN IT’S ABOUT THE FOOD ↓
Sometimes, it’s about the food!
Some occasions where you might deem food to be the focus:
You finally have reservations at a new restaurant that you’ve been excited about for months
You’re visiting a place that is known for a signature dish
You’re celebrating an occasion or milestone (where the meal itself is often part of the experience)
When the meal is “about the food,” the goal is to enjoy with intent.
In practice, this might look like:
Ordering what you truly want (not what you “think you should” order; and this could also look like sharing dishes!)
Slowing down, savoring each bite, and really, truly tasting your food
Stopping when you’re satisfied instead of stuffed
The goal isn’t to “stay on track at all costs,” it is to experience something special without turning it into an all-or-nothing situation. Enjoying food (dishes that have a balance of macros and those that don’t) is about balance and mindfulness.
WHEN IT’S ABOUT THE PEOPLE ↓
Other times, the food actually isn’t the main focus – the company is.
Some instances where the company may take top billing on the “why” of the meal:
You’re catching up with old friends or coworkers that you haven’t seen in a while
You’re celebrating a milestone with loved ones
You’re attending a gathering (like a summer barbecue or a holiday dinner) where the real value is connection
In these situations, the food is more of a backdrop than the headline. And that’s where it can make sense to choose the option that best aligns with your current goals.
In practice, this might look like:
Choosing your Option B or Option C on the menu – something you will still enjoy (we should like what we’re eating!) and that has the balance you are looking for (this may also mean looking at or asking about the menu ahead of time so that you have time to think about this ahead of time)
Eating enough to feel satisfied, not sluggish
Spending more energy on the conversation and less on what’s on your plate
The goal still isn’t to eat perfectly even when you’re eating with a “people priority!” It is to make a choice that feels good during and after the meal.
When you pause to ask “is this about the food or the people?” you shift from reacting to deciding. You take the pressure off “getting it right” (hello fellow recovering perfectionists!) and are able to focus instead on the context, which is what true flexibility looks like in practice. It also keeps you from falling into what might be an all-too-familiar pattern of guilt, restriction, and compensation (that nasty voice that says “I blew it, so I’ll make up for it tomorrow”). You don’t need to earn or undo anything, you just need to get curious about awareness.
SO:
You can love food and prioritize your goals.
You can enjoy an indulgent meal and make aligned choices when/where it makes sense.
You can celebrate with others without letting food be the source of stress or guilt.
When you can name the purpose of the meal – the food or the people – you gain the power to decide what the balance of the meal looks like for you.
YOUR NEXT STEP
Does this blog post resonate with you? At Front Porch Nutrition, I coach real people through real-life nutrition — thinking through what your wants, needs, and goals are, and working together to make changes that last not just in the moment, but for the long haul. Get started with 1:1 nutrition coaching today!
